Independence: Nothing more than a warm and fuzzy feeling at best. Remembering Tisha.

I’m sad. In 1962 Jamaicans were hopeful as we claimed our independence from Britain. It is 2015. Here we are. It makes the news when an eternally malfunctioning elevator at the public hospital in Kington is fixed. Horror stories, almost unbelievable, about the absence of basic medical supplies in the public health system become a daily fixture on radio talk shows.  Bombarded with one political scandal after another (think Trafigura, Cuban Light Bulb, Manat-Phillips-Phelps, Finsac, Tivoli incursion to name a few) our numbness renders us impassive to constitutional breeches that could have serious repercussions down the road. If you’ve ever been the position of having to find suitable hires, then I need not regale you with how the educational system has failed. We have had rehashed anti-crime programmes thrust upon us ad naseum, with nothing but rising crime, more sophisticated in its organisation. The generation before my own has failed, and I suspect that my own children will say that we have failed them too. We haven’t fought for better. We have tolerated mediocrity, and some of us have been complicit when it suited a personal agenda.

This morning I remembered Tisha*. Tisha was a HEART trainee with the organisation. She was quiet and diligent. She was well spoken and shy. One morning she brought some documents to my office for my signature. She greeted me with her quiet voice and pleasant smile. As I scanned the documents and signed, we began talking. I am a prober by nature. I stopped signing and sat back. She had caught my attention with her thoughtful, well constructed answers to my probing. It turned out that Tisha had 10 CSEC subjects, sciences included. Yet here she was, a filing clerk in a programme that demanded no more than 4 CSEC subjects.

“I wanted to go to 6th form to do A levels and then head on to University to do medicine. But my family couldn’t afford it. My father told me that it was time for me to get a job and do my part.” 

I probed further.

“I wanted to do medicine” she explained with a sad smile.

“So what is your plan B then?” I insisted.

Tisha was stumped. The notion of a plan, much less a plan B had never occurred to her.

“Listen” I said…”Med school may be out of your reach. Let me be honest with you. But that does not mean that you have to put all professional aspirations on hold. If I told you that you could go to University, but that you couldn’t do medicine, what would you do?”

“Accounts” she offered.

“Now we can plan!” I said excitedly.

“But I have to have A levels” she said worriedly.

“No, no, no! To do A levels now would add years and cost to your journey. Here’s what you can do: get out of this HEART internship and get a real job. Then apply to UTECH. Then apply for a student’s loan.”

We had the start of a plan. Every week I’d check with Tisha re: the job hunt. In about 2 months she told me that she had a firm offer that would pay her much more than the HEART position. I guided her with respect to the timing of the resignation from HEART. I took her to the Students Load Bureau and guided her application to UTECH.

Tisha moved on. I heard that she was doing a degree in Business Admin at UTECH and I rejoiced. Tisha had been suffering a double whammy: lack of resources and lack of guidance.

I ran into Tisha about 4 years later at the public library. We embraced, and then she introduced me to her toddler daughter shyly. I cut straight to to chase: “So did you finish your degree?”

“No” she replied softly, head down. “I had one more year to do, but I had to stop.”

I encouraged her to enquire about the possibility of doing it part-time, and of the need to marshal all her resources into completing that degree.

I never kept in touch. I hope her story ended well.

Free education was never really free. As a nation we never defined how education would be paid for. The result has been a diminishing quality of product year after year after year.

Decades after so called independence, our safety nets and support structures for a marginalized population are not at all robust. Our young lack opportunities and guidance. Independence bestowed a warm and fuzzy feeling. Not a thing more.

What next then?

I suspect that we will have to an about face for better to come. The current trajectory, be it green or orange will continue the descent into poverty, inequity and hopelessness.

*name changed

about high school graduations in Jamaica

So I was griping about Miss World’s graduation, scheduled for about 2 1/2 hours from now…after all, she doesn’t even know if she has passed her CSEC exams yet!  And here in Jamaica, you don’t get to progress without CSEC subjects in hand.  I was going on and on about how schools ought to wait until exam results are out before this big hoopla with cap, gown, pictures, rings, balls and the like.  But my good friend Raymond forced me to think.  Yesterday he offered his congrats to Miss World and commended me for being a great mom.  I fended him off, remarking that results are pending.  He replied with his usual forthrightness: “It doesn’t matter what the results are, Kelly.  Rachael is a good girl.  And you did your best with her.  It could have been way different”.  His comments marinated in my sub-conscious, and today I realised and accepted and celebrated.  Rachael marks the end of five years of high school today. She made the honour roll every year since grade 7.  She completed piano up to grade 4 level.  She found her niche in the glee club at her school and the Music House became her haunt…a place where she automatically went to even when she didn’t have a rehersal or class there. She writes so well.  She took to high school like a duck to water after feeling like an outsider at prep school, being such a quiet, introverted child.  She is a funny, smart, witty and gorgeous girl who has stayed off drugs and did not get pregnant. She started grade 7 with her parents going through a dramatic and painful separation.  She endured this, including moving house, her mom starting a new job and never missed a beat.  Grade 11 was rough…for both of us.  I felt that she lost focus and was not doing all she could to win.  Both of us know what I mean, and we await CSEC results in August.

Our children are NOT us.  We have been blessed with these little people, to nurture them, to provide for them and to help them be all they can be. I know I have not consistently been the best parent in the world for sure.

So today I celebrate with our daughter for completing five years of high school…for making us proud along the way.  And we’ll be there no matter what to support and love her into her future.  Congrats, Rachael. we love you.

Rachael in Grade 8
Rachael the Graduate

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